Just one week can have so many ups and downs. Last weekend was a great weekend. Friday I woke up early and climbed the soldiers' hill to watch the sunrise with some people. Then that night I danced with the girls for a long time. I am no longer uncomfortable with them. I enjoy spending time with them and talking with them a lot more. Over the past few weeks, they have become "the Acholi people of northern Uganda" to my friends and people that are so much more than their tribal name. I care about them and really feel like I know them. On Monday I was very excited when I decided what to do with my project money. As an intern, I have $500 to spend on my program. Because my program does not really need this much money, I can use the remaining however I wish. I had a vision to use the money to help send the girls to secondary school if they want to go. There have been a couple of girls that were in P7 before they were abducted and want to take the PLE (a test to get into secondary school). I am going to start assessing them this week and then tutoring them so they can take the test next year. If they end up getting into secondary school, it is very expensive- about $150- 300 a year. I want my money to go towards their schooling because I believe so much in the power of education. Three Cups of Tea has been very inspiring!
I was on such a high at the beginning of the week, but by Thursday I was near tears. After waiting for half an hour for my class to begin, I was informed that it would need to be postponed until Sunday. I was frustrated because it was cancelled the week before as well. I went back to my hut feeling defeated. Then I had a decision to make. What would I turn to? Normally I would pick up the phone and call my mom immediately but I couldn't because it was 1:00 am for her. I also could not call any of my close friends, and there was no one I could talk with at the center right then. So what would I turn to? Or who? I picked up my bible. I decided that God is the one I would lean on. Once before, during a very hard time in my life, I closed my eyes, opened the bible to a page, ran my finger up and down, and landed on a spot. When I opened my eyes, I saw I had landed on Proverbs 3:5: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding". I decided to do the same thing that day because sometimes I don't really know what is the right thing to read and I just believe that God would show me something to comfort me. And He did. I landed on Ecclesiastes 3:6: "A time to gain and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away". I was amazed that not only did I land on a section in the bible that I knew somewhat, but that it was relevant. I read the whole section over, then focused on the verse again, "A time to gain and a time to lose". That completely summed up my week. On Monday I had gained so much and I felt good and happy. That Thursday I lost- I did not have my class and I felt frustrated, discouraged, useless, and upset. My patience and flexibility had been tried again and again. But, I know God has a purpose for everything, and if it is just for me to learn something, then I know everything will work out in the end and it is worth it. And I did learn something. I learned to turn to God first and foremost, before anyone or anything else. He always has the answers. I am also learning that things don't always go my way and I need to accept that. Sometimes I will gain and sometimes I will lose.
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