What an Adventure!

"Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known to the unknown". I would say I have taken the biggest step of my life. This adventure has been indescribable, though I have tried to explain some of it to you here. Living in Africa have been the most difficult, frustrating, rewarding, amazing time of my life. The people I have met, daily activities, roadblocks, and my own reflections have taught me so much. I have definitely taken a huge risk and because of that, I believe I have grown immensely. Many of you will want me to tell you what the best part of my last 3 months have been. I simply cannot answer what the best part is. How can I possibly pick "the best" part of a life-changing experience? I will share with you though, just a few of the most memorable times: making friendships with some of the girls- being able to joke around and laugh with them, teaching the children songs, holding a child in my arms, going on the safari, sitting on the veranda surrounded by children at sunset with the welcoming cool breeze after a stifling hot day. You will notice that most of them involve the children. Thus, I think it is fitting to share a quote that sums up my time with them: "The soul is healed by being with children". One little girl expecially, named Patience, has completely captured my heart. When I look into her big, deep brown eyes, it is so hard to think of leaving. If I could, I would take her back with me in a heartbeat.

In addition to the good, happy times, I have also come to know a world that includes lots of suffering. I have learned that there is a lot of suffering, war, and poverty in the world. At times, it is hard to think about going back to my life, knowing that I am leaving all of it behind to be surrounded be my comfortable, cushioned life. I have seen that the world is full of need and it feel like there will always be more. It makes me think of another quote from the missionary Amy Carmichael: "Missionary work is a grain of sand, the work untouched is a pyramid". ChildVoice International is doing so much and has impacted so many lives, but there are so many more in Gulu, in Uganda, in Africa, in the world. Knowing this makes me torn between feeling helpless and wanting to do more.

I want to just thank you for all your thoughts and prayers and I hope you have enjoyed reading my random thoughts in this blog. If I have inspired you at all by introducing to you a new group of people and my new friends in Uganda, I ask for your continual prayers for them. If you would also like, please ask me how you can help with the scholarship fund. as I plan to make this a part of my life. Now, with this adventure coming to an end, I would like to challenge you, "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one and precious life?"- Mary Oliver.

The End is Near

"You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you". -Frederick Buechner

I think this quote is so true. With only a couple of weeks left, I am really missing my family. I have really come to appreciate them and realize how much I love them while I have been here. I see families here that are broken- either they do not all live together, or some have been killed. Some of the girls are orphans because of the war, and some do have parents alive but do not want or are able to take care of them. I think I have been especially missing my family since I did not have a real Thanksgiving. I was the only American at the center and it was really weird to go throughout my day as ordinary as ever, but knowing that is was a holiday for me and no one else. My Thanksgiving meal consisted of pancakes and syrup that I made myself (thank you Camp Ewalu for all the practice you gave me in making these!), which were not too bad, though I did miss the turkey and stuffing.

It is crazy that just as I am starting to feel independent, I am leaving soon. Saturday I spent the day in town by myself. I went to a little coffee shop and used the internet, went to the grocery store and the market, and came back on a boda all be myself! Usually I am with one other mzungu, but I was alone this weekend and so had to fend for myself. You really learn to be independent when you don't have anyone else to depend on. I am glad that I have gotten to this point because that is one of the reasons I wanted to come here. I now feel that if I can walk alone around Gulu (which is a pretty big city) and do my errands, I can definitely be independent in the Twin Cities! Especially when I am familiar with the culture and can speak the same language!

In other news, I have started tutoring 3 of the girls to take the PLE. I started by assessing them to see how much they know (or remember because it has been a long time since they have been in school). Unfortunately, the results were not quite how I had anticipated for a couple of them. I realized that I needed to just back up and work on reading in English. Their Primary Leaving Exam (PLE) is all in English and so they could not do as well as they might have if they had known how to read better. So, yesterday I took some children's books from the ECD classroom and read with the girls. I am only sad that I did not start this sooner! I feel bad that I have just started with them, have gotten their hopes up, and now am leaving so soon. I wish there was something I could do, but with the speed things go in Uganda, I don't think I will be able to get them a different tutor before I leave. On a brighter note, one of the girls did much better than I had expected. I was so excited to see her doing so well! She has such drive and motivation that I just know she will make something of herself after she leaves the center. I am glad that I can at least start something with these girls while I am here. I just wish there was something I could do when I am 3,000 miles away...

Safari!

On Thursday I went with the team on a safari in western Uganda. We took 3 vans that the roofs could pop up and we could stand up and look out through the top. We drove through the Murchison Falls National Park in the middle of the day, which I was told, was when you do not usually see many animals. Surprisingly, we saw a lot more than I thought we would. We saw antelopes, wildebeests, warthogs, water buffalo, giraffes, elephants, baboons, a leopard, and a cobra. Unfortunately, we did not see any lions, which I was really hoping for, but it was really fun. I loved standing up with the warm, African air blowing in my face, seeing all these animals in the savanna that I have never seen up close in the wild before.

After the safari, we took a ferry across the Nile river to where we were staying that night, a campground-like hotel place called The Red Chili. There were cabins, big army tents, and backpacking tents. Thankfully, we stayed in the cabins, which I was very happy about because there were warthogs and hippos wandering around the campground. I really did not want to worry about one of those getting into my tent! Forget raccoons in Minnesota camping! After we were settled in and rested for a little bit, we went back out to the savanna for an evening safari from 4-7. We saw the same animals for the most part, but they were a lot closer- at one point there was a giraffe on the road right in front of our van!- and it was during sunset, which was really beautiful. We had to hurry to get back on the last ferry that left at 7 so we booked it and barely made the ferry, which for the first time in Uganda, actually left on time. Then we ate dinner at the restaurant at the campground and then had a shower! It was cold water, but it was still a shower, which I have not had in 2 months. I slept very good with a pillow that night too!

The next morning after breakfast we got into 2 boats and went down the Nile River. My cousin had asked me before I left if I would see any hippos in Uganda. I told her I didn't think so because I would not be near a body of water. Well, Amy, I was wrong. I saw tons of hippos! I will show you lots of pictures when I get home! We also saw crocodiles on out boat ride. I had to keep reminding myself, though, when I looked out across the river that I was actually on the Nile instead of the Mississippi. It really looked like I could have been looking out at the bluffs in Winona.

We then got out and hiked up to the top of Murchison Falls. I love waterfalls and this one was very impressive. We hiked up and got to actually stand on top of the waterfall. This was probably my favorite part of the trip. Afterwards, we piled in the vans and drove a couple of hours. The team dropped off a couple of staff members that went along and I on the side of the road and then kept driving south to Kampala to fly home. A bus would be coming up from Kampala to Gulu and would pick us up at this "bus stop". We did not know when the bus would come, and I was even wondering IF it would come, but after only an hour of waiting, we safely got on an overcrowded bus. We got into Gulu around 6 and decided to stay the night in a hotel in town. It was really nice to have a hot shower last night and sleep in a really comfortable bed! The last few days have been a really nice treat, but now it's back to the center for my last 3 weeks in Africa!

T.I.A.

There has been lots of activity at the center the last two weeks so I have been busier than usual, which I am happy about. A team of 18 people from Des Moines has been here on a mission trip and they leave tomorrow. There has also been a funeral for the Center Director's son, which was an all day event last Friday. On Sunday ChildVoice had a huge celebration and invited past students to come back for a reunion. The present group of girls is the third class to be at the center so the first two classes of girls, and their children, all came for the celebration, which was again all day long.

Last night I went to eat with the team in town at a restaurant. It was a pretty nice restaurant and I had heard very good things about it, so I was very excited to eat there. I had my heart set on the pizza because the team was talking about getting Papa John's when they get home. I was pretty let down to hear they did not have any more pizza (it is common for restaurants to not carry what they have on their menu), but I decided on the pasta with mushrooms. We waited an hour and a half before people started getting their food. Half an hour later, I was the only one who still did not have my food. The waiter then told me that they are out of the mushroom pasta and asked if I would have the spaghetti. I said sure, though I was a bit disappointed. Ten minutes later, I was brought a plate of plain, overcooked spaghetti noodles with bits of scrambled egg on top. The rest of the team looked at me sympathetically. I smiled at the waiter and said thank you. After I finished 1/3 of my plate and the waiter came to clear my spot, he asked how my food was. I smiled and said it was good. When he left, one of the guys on the team said I almost said that with a straight face. One of the team members then told me, "T.I.A.". I asked what that meant. She said, "That is Africa". So now, whenever situations like this occur, which is really quite frequent, I just shrug and say T.I.A.

Ups and Downs

Just one week can have so many ups and downs. Last weekend was a great weekend. Friday I woke up early and climbed the soldiers' hill to watch the sunrise with some people. Then that night I danced with the girls for a long time. I am no longer uncomfortable with them. I enjoy spending time with them and talking with them a lot more. Over the past few weeks, they have become "the Acholi people of northern Uganda" to my friends and people that are so much more than their tribal name. I care about them and really feel like I know them. On Monday I was very excited when I decided what to do with my project money. As an intern, I have $500 to spend on my program. Because my program does not really need this much money, I can use the remaining however I wish. I had a vision to use the money to help send the girls to secondary school if they want to go. There have been a couple of girls that were in P7 before they were abducted and want to take the PLE (a test to get into secondary school). I am going to start assessing them this week and then tutoring them so they can take the test next year. If they end up getting into secondary school, it is very expensive- about $150- 300 a year. I want my money to go towards their schooling because I believe so much in the power of education. Three Cups of Tea has been very inspiring!

I was on such a high at the beginning of the week, but by Thursday I was near tears. After waiting for half an hour for my class to begin, I was informed that it would need to be postponed until Sunday. I was frustrated because it was cancelled the week before as well. I went back to my hut feeling defeated. Then I had a decision to make. What would I turn to? Normally I would pick up the phone and call my mom immediately but I couldn't because it was 1:00 am for her. I also could not call any of my close friends, and there was no one I could talk with at the center right then. So what would I turn to? Or who? I picked up my bible. I decided that God is the one I would lean on. Once before, during a very hard time in my life, I closed my eyes, opened the bible to a page, ran my finger up and down, and landed on a spot. When I opened my eyes, I saw I had landed on Proverbs 3:5: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding". I decided to do the same thing that day because sometimes I don't really know what is the right thing to read and I just believe that God would show me something to comfort me. And He did. I landed on Ecclesiastes 3:6: "A time to gain and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away". I was amazed that not only did I land on a section in the bible that I knew somewhat, but that it was relevant. I read the whole section over, then focused on the verse again, "A time to gain and a time to lose". That completely summed up my week. On Monday I had gained so much and I felt good and happy. That Thursday I lost- I did not have my class and I felt frustrated, discouraged, useless, and upset. My patience and flexibility had been tried again and again. But, I know God has a purpose for everything, and if it is just for me to learn something, then I know everything will work out in the end and it is worth it. And I did learn something. I learned to turn to God first and foremost, before anyone or anything else. He always has the answers. I am also learning that things don't always go my way and I need to accept that. Sometimes I will gain and sometimes I will lose.

What I'm Learning

I have been thinking of all that I am learning while I have been here. I know when I get home, people will ask me, "So what did you learn?" That is a tough question because I am continuously learning and prosessing what I am learning. Here are a few things, some more thought-provoking than others, that I am learning so far:

-God is teaching me to trust in Him that I will be safe. I have never had to do this before. I have trusted Him in other aspects, but not my own safety to the extent that I do here. Although CVI does have systems in place to ensure safety, it is still hard to feel safe knowing what has happened in the past in northern Uganda. I have realized that life is too short to always be worrying. I'll let God take care of it for me.

-I am learning to be patient. In every way possible! I am forever waiting- for anything and everything. And sometimes even nothing. I have learned to just sit and wait a lot for people, something to start, or sometimes I don't even know what. This has been a challenge for someone who thrives on being busy, but I am slowly learning.

-I am learning another culture's rules, behaviors, and way of life. Every day I learn something new about the Acholi culture or what is or is not appropriate to do.

-I am learning to love all of God's beauty that is creation. Not just the gorgeous sunsets, but the endless seas of tall grass, storm clouds rolling in, and the abundance of green trees. I am learning to appreciate nature, and the fact that everything I eat comes from the ground- my daily rice and beans, vegetables from the market, and even my water. In Donald Miller's book, Through Painted Deserts, he says he is "talking about the earth God meant to speak before we finished His sentence". I like what he says: "In all our technology, we have lost touch with the earth, our heaters and air conditioners robbing us of the drama of seasons, our cars keeping our feet from pacing the land, our concrete and our shoes and our carpet delivering us from the feel of unprocessed earth. We live on top of the created world, not in it".

-I have learned that I appreciate my family and friends more than I ever have before. I am learning that they really love and care about me. One good friend showed this by telling me "You are not missing much" when I expressed how much I miss what is going on at home.

-I am learning to not take for granted the littlest things that I never would have thought of before. There are just too many of these to count!

-I am learning that God is in each and every person, regardless of where they live, or how differently their lives are from mine. I always have known this, but I am actually experiencing it now after meeting people here.

-I am learning to be alone, and to keep things to myself. I like to be surrounded by people, which is why camp and college have been the perfect environments for me. I like to share my thoughts and talk with others. Here I am learning to keep my thoughts to myself or journal them. This might just be because nobody would understand what I am saying anyway! I am learning here that I do not always need to be my enthusiastic, bubbly self. I am starting to learn to enjoy my quiet alone time instead of always being social.

-I learned that I do not like sugarcane (surpisingly).

-I learned that the frogs and caterpillars are poisonous.

-I have learned that I appreciate it when people call me by my name insead of "mzungu", which is getting very tiring.

-I am learning there are some incredible books written. (Read The Shack and Through Painted Deserts if you have not).

-I am learning that when I get home, I will see everything through new eyes. I feel that I will appreciate everything so much more and take full advantage of the freedom and choices that I am blessed with.

-I am learning to not wish away the days, but to live in each moment, treating each as a gift from God. I have not always done this in my life, especially here. It is hard some days, but I am trying. There is something from the book Through Painted Deserts that has really struck me: "It occurs to me, as it sometimes does, that this day is over and will never be lived again, that we are only the sum of days, and when those are spent, we will not come back to this place, to this time, to these people and these colors, and I wonder whether to be sad about this or to be happy, to trust that these hours are meant for some kind of enjoyment, as a kind of blessing".

-I have learned how to improvise when making apple pie and puppy chow.

-I have learned again and again, that I find joy just being with children.

-I am learning what are the most important things in life. In the past, I would say family and friends. But still, the way I lived my life would also say food, social gatherings, living comfortably, and enjoying life. I am learning that it is really very simple- just God and love, which is actually the same thing. God is love. So, the most important thing is to love God and others, and in turn, I am loved by God and others. Again, one more thought from Through Painted Deserts: "I think we are supposed to stand in deserts and marvel at how the sun rises. I think we are supposed to sleep in meadows and watch the stars dart across space and time. I think we are supposed to love our friends and introduce people to the story, to the peaceful, calming why of life. I think life is spirituality".

These are just some of the things I have learned. I am sure there will be much more God will teach me in the second half of this Fantastic Adventure In Trusting Him.

My Favorite Things

Some of my favorite times here are the smallest, shortest things. Yesterday a thunderstorm was rolling in and some of the young children were scared and crying. I sat on the veranda with a few of them on my lap and around me while I sang. We just sat there while it poured for about half an hour as I sang song after song. I also love just sitting with the kids in the evenings when the sun is setting and there is a refreshing cool breeze.

Another one of my favorite times is when I have one of my program sessions. I had my second class for the older kids and mothers and it went so well! The kids are much more creative than I had ever thought and the mothers are learning to ask their children questions and interact with them. My program is different than I had originally planned. I knew that when I got here I would have to adapt it anyway to fit the needs here. There was no way to know how things would work without ever being here first. I had planned a program for mothers to read to their children and for them to do educational activities together. However, when I got here, I learned that the mothers can't read and the children are mostly too young to do the activities I had in mind. But they are still learning, being creative, and interacting together, which are my new objectives. My purpose is now for the mothers to learn to ask their children questions and encourage them to use their imaginations. This is something I, and I think many Americans, have taken for granted. I remember when I was growing up my mom making puppets with us out of paper plates, buttons, and yarn. She also made us play-doh and always encouraged us to be creative. In turn, when I baby-sat or nannied I would color with the children and I would encourage my students in the classroom to use their imaginations. The mothers here have never been taught this and so they have no idea how to do this with their children. It makes me appreciate so much everything my mom has done for me.

Even though my class is only about 20 or 30 minutes long, once a week, I have been told that is has made a big impact already. The other teachers were saying how good it was and that the kids were drawing more pictures and giving them to their mothers. They said to not think of what I am doing as a small thing because it has already made such a difference after only one session! This touched my heart so much!

Saturday I participated in the Gulu Walk. This is a walk to raise awareness to protect the children of northern Uganda. There are also walks in U.S. cities that were going on the same day. We walked all over Gulu for about 3 hours and there were hundreds of us- all in bright orange t-shirts. It felt good to be a part of a cause that I have wanted to help for so long. I know I do this everyday at ChildVoice, but there is something about being a part of a huge walk that so many people were involved in that made me really excited to be here.

When It All Clicked

It is amazing how things finally are starting to click! After a full month, I am finally feeling comfortable and like I am doing something here. I had an especially great day last week. I went into the Lukodi Primary School for the first time, and was only supposed to observe an English P6 class (which are about 12- 13 year-olds), but ended up teaching the class. The teacher just handed me the book 5 minutes before class and told me to start teaching that page, which was about restaurants and ordering food. There were around 45 students or so and the teacher and I taught a 40 minute class. I will be going in there every morning to teach that class until I leave in December. The day continued to go well because I taught my first class for the mothers and children at the center too. Because there are so many kids, I am separating them and having two classes: one for the children ages 2-5 and the other for the babies under 2. I had the class for the older kids and it went very well. I was a bit nervous because the kids had just woken up from their naps, but it went better than I expected. It was so good to see the mothers interacting with their children! I hope that the class continues to be a success. I am planning on having one session for each of the age groups once a week. It is so good to feel that I am finally doing something here and I can see my program going somewhere. Before my session started, I was sitting with one little girl in my lap as she was waking up from her nap. I was not sure when my session would start, so I was just holding her and singing to her. I realized then, that it doesn't matter if the session happened that day at all, or if my program does not turn out as I would like it to. What matters is that I am here and building relationships with the people here. That is all I had wanted to do in the beginning anyway. A year ago I just said, "God, please get me to Uganda". The program was just an added bonus. God got me here through CVI, and I am so grateful. I knew I just wanted to be with these kids. And here I am.

Other things that have been happening: some of the staff went cobra hunting around the compound, but unfortunately, without any luck. However, there have been two snakes found in my hut so far. They are not cobras, but they are still very poisonous. I pray that we do not find any more! I am literally losing sleep worrying about them! Also, we have made some pretty fabulous meals in the last week. We have made guacamole, banana cream pudding, homemade macaroni and cheese, and pizza! What a wonderful break from beans and rice!

I have also been thinking about my interests and how I have the freedom to be involved in whatever hobbies I want or have the time to be interested in whatever I want. In America, people go to work, come home, have time with their families, do what interests them, plan for vacations, holidays, and family gatherings. Here in the villages, people (especially the women who mostly do all the work while the men drink) wake up, work in the fields all day, go home and prepare food, clean, go to bed, and do the same thing the next day. I wonder, what right do I have that I can do whatever I enjoy? I am beyond privileged. I can read, go for a bike ride, go on vacations, and enjoy life. Do the people here enjoy life? They work, sleep, work; day in and day out. Do they have the freedom to have interests? When I get home, I want to enjoy my life by doing whatever interests me. Before I came here, I wondered what the purpose of life is. I came to the conclusion that it is to do God's will and serve His people. So by coming to Uganda, I was sure that I had found the purpose of life and was fulfilling it. Now that I am here, I find that I appreciate my freedom to do things that I enjoy and take an interest in. I thought the purpose of life was to help others, and that is what I wanted to do. I do still want to do that, but I find that I don't want to sacrifice my own interests. Am I following the purpose of life then? Or, can I follow God's will and help others while still being able to enjoy my own interests?

Independence Day Weekend

On Friday Uganda celebrated 47 years of independence. We all went into town to march in the parade. The parade consisted of marching around in a huge circle in a blocked off area. Schools and organizations marched wearing their different colored uniforms. Our girls wore their uniforms too. I marched with the girls and was the only white person in the whole parade. I have never had so many people stare at me in my life. Some people even laughed. As I was marching I heard one person yell "muzungu" and I knew without a doubt or looking over that he was talking about me. For the first time in my life, I am the minority. And it was very clear that day, surrounded by so many other people. I try not to take it personally when the children yell "mono" ("white person" in Luo) at me. After we marched one little girl came up behind me and reached for my hand. When I looked at her, she shrieked and ran off with her friends giggling. When we were done marching the girls changed into their dance uniforms and danced for everyone. It was a big deal because they had never perfomed in front of hundreds of people before. When we got back to the center there were sodas and our holiday dinner- goat. I tried a little bit but was not much of a fan. Maybe because I had just seen the animal alive and eating the grass around the kitchen the night before.

On Saturday my friend Aaron came to visit me. He has been living in northern Tanzania for a few months and decided since we live so close he would come see me. "Close" in U.S. standards, but in East Africa, the trip took him about two days. I was so excited about a friend coming and I wanted to be right there at the bus park when he got off the bus. Of course, it being Africa, things didn't quite work out like I planned. I had been in town all day and Kristen and I went to visit some people we met who had started an orphanage in Gulu. I did not realize, though, that they were pretty far away. When we got there, the children were going to dance for us but it started to rain so we all went inside to wait it out. 45 minutes later the rain started to let up and I heard from Aaron that he was almost in Gulu. The guy that runs the orphanage called a boda ride for me because I would never get to the bus park in time if I walked. As I waited, we watched the children dance. After awhile, we heard the boda was not coming so the guy and I walked down the road and found another boda. We slowly drove through the mud and finally got to the bus park. Aaron had been waiting for about 15 minutes, but he knows how it can be in Africa! This just shows you how frustrating the rain, bodas, and timing can be!

I took Aaron to eat at an Ethiopian restaurant in town that I heard was good. Unfortunately, we both did not agree. I tried the lamb but decided that Ethiopian tastes are not for me. I then took him to a coffee shop and we both got mocha ice cream that was delicious. We took bodas back to the center and I showed him around. The girls had a welcome ceremony for him and sang songs. I had taught them a couple of camp songs, "Step by Step" and "Amy's Amen" so I helped them sing them for him. Aaron also stood up and gave a short speech as well. I had bought some potatoes in town and had the girls make chips for us by frying them in oil. They were so good! Sunday we went to the church service at the center and just spent the day talking. Usually I like to keep people busy and entertained when they visit, but I had to realize that I just could not do that here. Part of the life is to just sit back and slow down, so that is just what we did. I also took him to see the IDP camp, the spring to get water, and the market. I was really happy to have a good friend here. It is also nice to have someone else see what I am doing here.

Hearing Their Stories

May 19th, 2004. I was a junior in high school, most likely preparing for upcoming finals and looking forward to summer. For the people of Lukodi, life was completely different. At around 5 or 6 in the evening, the LRA had surrounded the village and killed forty people within one hour. They burned down huts, killing whole families inside. It was one of the largest, quickest massacres of the war. Yesterday I saw the memorial that ChildVoice built for the community. When CVI first came to the school building (where the center is now) in 2007, they had to clean blood off the walls and pick up bullets. Even this past summer bullets were still found in the compound.

My first impression of the girls and the children at the center was,“This is poverty. This is what life is like for war-torn Ugandans.” That was nothing. These girls are so lucky. After seeing the memorial, I was taken into the Lukodi IDP camp right next to us. This camp was only established a couple of years ago so it is one of the “nicer” ones. I had no idea that life could be worse than at the center. The center seems like a palace compared to the IDP camp. There are tons of mud huts packed together and there are some places with rubble still from burnt down huts. Two little naked girls, no older than two, came running up to us. They were filthy. There were other young children hanging around too, left by their parents who went to work in the fields. They were malnourished, with huge, protruding stomachs. They do not go to school because they can not pay the fees, let alone for food for three meals. They are lucky if they eat some rice twice a day. I wanted to come and give children here an education. But there are so many basic needs that have to be met first. The Acholis have not always lived like this. Before the war, parents did not leave their toddlers to fend for themselves all day. There was food, tradition, and a sense of family. After 20 long years of war, their culture has been destroyed. Many people went mad. Alcoholism is a tremendously huge problem is the villages.

It is said that this is the worst war affecting children in the history of the world. Despite all of this, the Acholis are incredibly resilient. After suffering again and again from past wars, they are still working at getting their lives back. There is a presidential election in 2010 and an Acholi man is running. The Acholis are trying to rise up and be heard after 20 years of silence.

Painting a Picture

I thought I would explain a little more about what ChildVoice is and what the center consists of. Let me paint a picture for you:

ChildVoice International was set up in 2007 to take in former abducted child mothers and their children. The girls are about 15-22 years old. They have lived in the bush from a range of a few months to many years. They have been soldiers, sex slaves, or some just living in the bush, afraid of being abducted. At the center there is a school building which has a classroom for the girls, an ECD classroom, and a nursery room. The girls each have a dormitory room and there are a couple of offices in the building. There is a separate building for the kitchen on the side of the school. Behind, there are about 8 huts for the staff to live in, and thankfully I do too. There are latrines across the field and some enclosed areas for bathing. Littered across the grass are clothes that are in the process of being washed and hung to dry on the line, jerricans and bottles of water, and naked children running around. The entire compound is surrounded by a fence, which had a guarded gate by a man during the day and two soldiers at night.

Last week six of the girls left the center after 18 months of being here and went to their homes. Some are going back to live with parents, some with an aunt or an uncle, or brothers. We had a going away ceremony for them, took lots of pictures, and drank some sodas. (Drinking soda is a very big deal and happens only for very special events.) I did not know these girls for very long, but I pray that they are going back to decent lives and that they can use the skills that they have learned at the center to have a better life. When some of the girls leave, they will be going back to homes in camps or far into the bush. They will have to walk an hour to the nearest bore hole. They will, hopefully, feed their kids two or three times a day, but it will be a struggle.

I am talking with the girls a lot more and a bit easier. Not that I know much of the language, but somehow, we just make it work. One of the girls gave me an Acholi name: "Ayerwot", which means “Accept God”. Other things I have done with the girls include playing net ball. It is sort of a mix between basketball and ultimate Frisbee. Another mzungu, Kristen, and I played, though we did not really know the rules. We learned afterwards that we were doing many things wrong. I had a lot of fun running around and doing something physical. The girls also like to wash mzungus’ hair. I had one girl wash my hair the other night in a basin. It was really nice for someone else to wash it because it is really hard to wash it without a shower!

Almost every night I cook food with the other mzungus. We cook vegetables mostly and we sometimes have fruit. Some foods I have had are: dragonfruit, jackfruit, papayas, mangos, and passionfruit (although the only one I really like is passionfruit). The other day I had traditional Ugandan food in town at a restaurant. I had smoked meat in a peanut sauce, matoke (which is mashed plantains), and a dough made of ground millet flour. Thankfully, there was rice as well, which is pretty much what I ate mostly.

I go into town Saturdays and Wednesdays to do various things. I try to get on a computer, which can be very difficult sometimes because the power goes out frequently, where the whole town is out, from a few hours up to three days! I also go to the market and get some vegetables and fruit sometimes, or other things I may need at the store. I also went to a tailor and had a couple of skirts and a traditional dress made.

I have been in the ECD classroom a few times now. There are only about 6 children between the ages of 3-5. Most of the kids at the center are babies. They did not really do much in class, but it was nice to be in a setting that I am comfortable in. I have not started setting up my program for the mothers and children yet because the center director has not been around. His son is very sick in the hospital with typhoid. I don’t think I will be getting to my program for another couple of weeks, which is a little frustrating, but at the same time, I don’t feel that I need to be in a hurry. I like just being here with the people, experiencing life like they do.

I have had lots of time to think about how life is different here. I realize that here, no one ever asks, “What are you doing tonight? Or this weekend?”. People do not make plans, and there is really nothing to make plans to do anyway. I am learning to just take one day at a time, live in the present, and not make plans. I can also see how mother and children act. It is not uncommon for the mothers to hit their children. If the kids are bad the mothers tell them that they will beat them. Children also walk around with plastic bags in their mouths. Mothers will find baggies and give them to their kids to play with. If you see a child with a plastic bag in their mouth in America, you would immediately grab it out. Here, it is something that I just have to accept, just like the mothers hitting their kids, no matter how hard it is.

One last random thing happening: supposedly there is a cobra somewhere at the center, which makes me a bit nervous walking though the long grass. They did pour kerosene down the hole where it lives and they think it is now gone. Other than that, I am sleeping well, for those of you who have been wondering.

More Than Food and Clothes

The other night I was reading my bible and came across Matthew, chapter 6, verse 25: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important that food, and the body more important than clothes?” Is not life more important than food and clothing? It certainly is. I am seeing that fully here in the middle of the bush in Africa. In fact, some of the children do not even wear clothes! And rice and beans are almost the only food that is eaten. I wanted to come to Africa, partly for selfish reasons, so that I may know and actually live how others in the world live. Eat what they eat. Wear what they wear. Sleep how they sleep.

I was talking with one girl yesterday and she asked me in America if we have running water, toilets, the kitchen, and beds all in the same house. I said yes. She said it must be a very big house. She also knew that we use machines to wash our clothes. Here, the girls spend hours washing clothes, drying them in the sun, and then ironing them. I attempted this the other day, though I did not do nearly as well as the girls do. It is so easy for me to throw a load of laundry in the washing machine at home while I watch t.v. or do something else. At home I do not think twice about getting up in the middle of the night and walking down the hallway barefoot to use the bathroom. Here, I dread getting out of bed, finding my flashlight and toilet paper, putting on my sandals, walking to the latrine, and squatting over a hole in the ground. At home, I do not think twice about turning on the faucet for a quick glass of cold water. Here, these girls have to walk the mile or so to get water, pump the water, and carry it back to the center, all with a baby strapped on their backs.

How many times have I told the kids at camp to be thankful for a bed to sleep in, a roof over their heads, and food on the table? Yet how many times have I thoughtlessly taken for granted the luxuries I have in a first world country? Before I came here, I was worried that people here would know how I live and feel bad that they do not have what I do. The truth is, they can’t imagine what my life is like. They can’t imagine a kitchen in the same building that I sleep in. I would not know how to explain a microwave or a curling iron to them. Life is simple here. And it shows that life is much more than what I eat and what I wear.

Life in Lukodi

Life has a way of slowing down in Uganda. Almost to the point of standing still. The days have been long and hot, and I often go into my hut to cool down and read. Although I feel that I have not done much here yet, there is so much to tell.

Sunday morning I went to the church service at the center. It was two hours long and included lots of singing. There was also a lot of crying from the babies. There was an interpreter for some of the message, but not all of it. Through most of the service, I was just thinking, “I can’t believe so many people are squished into this one tiny classroom!” In the afternoon, I went with some of the girls to the farm and picked sweet potatoes in the field. Their sweet potatoes are not like American sweet potatoes. They are white and not so sweet. I do not really like them. Other foods that I have had here include: rice, beans, posho (a mashed, dry sort of grits- I don't like this either), eggplant, and other cooked vegetables. In the morning I can have tea and a bun, but I do not usually have this. After working in the fields and getting really muddy, I took a “shower”. This consisted of filling a basin with water and going to a small enclosed area where I use a cloth to wash my body and pour a cup over my head to wash my hair. This is difficult with long hair and I can see why most Acholi women have short, cropped hair.

I have done some activities with the children and with the girls. I taught the kids Ring Around the Rosy. They thought it was hysterical when we all fell down. I played Uno with the girls one night before they danced. They dance pretty much every night, except when it rains, which it is starting to do more often because it is now the rainy season. Any time I interact with the girls, I feel that it is a big success because it is so hard for me to communicate with them. Sometimes I have to force myself to go out and sit with them on the verandas because I find it very tiring to try and talk to them. I do not feel the same way with the children. I am very comfortable sitting with the children, letting them crawl over me or play with my hair and not having to talk at all. Even though I can not speak with the children, I seem to be able to communicate with them easily.

The other day I was talking with Mr. Akena, the Center Director, and he was telling me about the history of the Acholi people and when they were under Britain’s control. He also told me about his education and teaching experience. He said one thing he likes about America is that we get out and experience the world, unlike the Acholi, who live in a cocoon. He said we train our teachers better too. Most of the teachers in northern Uganda are not very good. They need better, or in some cases, even any training. I realized that I really am very lucky that I have had the chance to experience so much of the world that I have and that I have had the educational training that I have.

Once I asked Kristen, the other American staff member, if she fears the LRA. She said she fears the IDP camp community members more of stealing and rape. There is a gate around the whole center that is guarded by a couple of soldiers, so I am not too worried, and I am not supposed to be outside of the gate after 6:30 p.m. The only times I go outside the gate are to get water with the girls. We go to the borehole (a well with a pump) or the spring. The girls all carry the full20 liter jerricans back on their heads. I tried this one day but had to hold on to it with my hands. I could not do this for very long. Acholi women are so strong! I carried a 5 liter jug of water in each of my hands back to the center yesterday and can still feel it in my shoulders and back today. Who needs weight lifting here when I can just fetch water every day!

Something that really struck me the other day was how little the children in Uganda actually have. I knew that they would not have much, but I was still shocked that there was nothing in the Early Childhood Development (ECD) classroom. There is not a single toy inthe room, not one object for the children to hold or play with. In America, a child has dozens and dozens of toys at their home; a classroom has many, many things for children to play with. Here, kids run around with sticks and pieces of garbage. They put dirt and leaves in their mouths. I am still getting used to how dirty the kids get.

The other night the other mzungu (white people) staff and I were eating in one of our huts and they told me some of the girls’ stories. I know that I am working with formally abducted girls, but when I heard some of their personal stories, it was very surreal. I was afraid of having nightmares that night from some of the things they told me. The girls at the center are from the ages of 14-22. It is so hard for me to think that these girls, who are the same ages as my sisters, know more about guns and tanks than Army soldiers.

Finally Here!

After months of planning, two days of flying, and one day of driving from Kampala to Gulu (consisting of stopping only twice from our van overheating), I finally made it to my destination! I spent Tuesday in New Hampshire at the ChildVoice International headquarters where I got a quick orientation about the organization and what life would be like in Uganda. It was a lot of information at once and I got a bit overwhelmed. That night I flew to Amsterdam and then to Entebbe, Uganda. I then stayed Wednesday night in a hotel in Kampala, which was the first that I had slept since Monday night in New Hampshire. During our drive to Gulu, which was about a five hour drive north, we crossed the Nile River, saw baboons on the side of the road, and saw lots of villages and IDP (Internally Displaced People) camps. It was a long drive over many potholes, but we arrived to Gulu safely. From there, the Lukodi Center is about a 40 minute drive, but ChildVoice staff go back and forth from the Center to Gulu easily every day.

Immediately when I stepped out of the van at the center one little girl grabbed my hand and led me around the center. I could not understand her or speak with her, but she made me feel that she was glad I was here. My first night the 30 girls had a welcome ceremony for me where they sang songs to me and some of the staff gave a couple of speeches. I then had to stand up and give a short speech as well. Then everyone started dancing to music and the girls taught me how to dance.

Yesterday was my first full day at the center. It was a long, slow day. It is exhausting when you cannot communicate with anyone! I would say that is the most frustrating thing about being here. Yet, I am learning a few phrases in Luo, the language the Acholi speak. The children also know a couple of words in English, as they are learning in the school there. All the children are about 5 years or younger. There are 34 children or so, and most are babies. I was first taken aback when I saw all the younger children dirty, without pants, and with flies all around them. It is also hard to not do anything when they cry. The babies are always crying, but there is nothing that you can do about it. In America, I am used to mothers and teachers picking up crying children right away and trying to comfort them. That is just not what they do here.

I am learning a lot about the Acholi people's histoy by talking to people and through a book I am reading. I have learned that there is a lot more conflict, war, and killings in the past than I was aware. The problem goes back and is a lot deeper than just this last 20 year old war against the LRA. It is very complicated and I still do not know much, but I am starting to understand that there have been many troubling times for the Acholi people. I have been wondering, then, why I am here now. With all of the problems they have had, what good am I going to do here after this last war? Am I going to make any difference after this last tradegy? I just need to trust God that He knows best and called me here for a reason.